"Where The Hell Is Nicole?"
That's all we've been hearing at Fitness Cult Chronicles the past few days. No, she wasn't busy starring in Godzilla nor was she hanging out with Tupac and Elvis at a mall in Boise. Nicole has been doing what she always does - training for fitness competitions and getting swole as sh**!
Remember when you were a little kid and your parents built you a swing set in your backyard?
Aw, how cute.
Nicole doesn't do cute, that's why she built her own fitness cult themed swing set to play on.
Now I know what you're thinking - "Wonderful, Nicole has become a smelly mountain woman who only does wilderness training." First, I wouldn't even think things like that about Nicole. We're pretty sure she's not telepathic, but do you really want to take that chance? Second, Nicole hasn't just been living in the woods eating magic mushrooms and doing muscle ups. She has been at the gym putting up big numbers and getting ready for challenges.
You wanted Nicole to squat 240?
"OK Coach, Here's 240"
Pretty impressive right? I mean, she basically just squatted your girlfriend. As you can see, run of the mill challenges aren't much of an issue for Nicole. That's why some of the Fitness Cult Chronicles staff members are training hard to compete against her head to head. I tried to warn them that tugging on Superman's cape is a really stupid idea but no one listens to Coach DBJ these days. Youth is wasted on youth.
LR has accepted the Nicole challenge
Ali has accepted the Nicole Challenge
Challenging Nicole is like challenging the sun not to come up or the Fraggles not to eat Doozer buildings. If we're going to have a challenge though, we might as well give it some parameters.
The Nicole Challenge will consist of Cleans, Double Unders and rowing with a target time to completion of roughly ten minutes. We'll reveal the weight and rep scheme as we get closer to the event. This challenge is going to make Prom WOD feel like the 8th grade dance.
LR and Ali will face off against Nicole on Saturday August 16th. That's right, these girls have less than three months to get big, man up and figure out a way beat Nicole. We'll be tracking their progress along the way with regular updates. So what do you think? Have a favorite? Think they stand a chance?
Let us know if you're on Team Nicole, Team Ali or Team LR!